My Emotional Support Outfit
What I wear when I'm in survival mode.
I realize I have not been upholding my end of the bargain recently, with unfulfilled promises of posts on Sundays, then Wednesdays, then Sundays again. I’m working on getting back into my rhythm, and hope to get on track shortly. The emotional burden of the world being on fire, combined with a laundry list of distractions in my personal and professional life have left me overwhelmed and uninspired. As I mentioned in a recent Note, I’ve fallen off the sartorial wagon, with nary an outfit photo or video taken for myself, let alone for publication in the last few weeks. I am and have been in a style survival mode.
I’ve had very little bandwidth to get creative with my clothing, leaning on my Hero Pieces and relying on the same few items worn on repeat. To call this using an outfit formula gives it a little too much credit - or not enough depending on how you look at it - and I’ve been wearing a version of what I call my Emotional Support Outfit, a technique (or coping mechanism) for when you just can’t deal with getting dressed.
I last utilized my Emotional Support Outfit of jeans, a white t-shirt and a sweater, after my dad died, when I was drowning in grief and really couldn’t be bothered to do much of anything. Having items you can put on, even when you don’t have the mental fortitude for more than just surviving, is important and essential to conquering the more challenging aspects of the day. It’s a bit of fake it till you make it, tricking yourself into feeling like you’re up for the next task. We all still have responsibilities, even when life feels like a big mess, and getting dressed helps keep us on track. The outfit does not need to be complicated or fancy, think of Barack Obama and his navy blue suit; the look should be simple, repeatable, and feel like you. I touch on this more with
in an upcoming episode of her podcast. Our conversation was a wonderful culmination of the shittiest week, and I can’t wait to share the episode with you soon.
My Emotional Support Outfit has evolved a bit over the last few months; with a busier work schedule, I’ve had to step it up just enough to look like a working stylist without expending too much energy getting dressed every morning. I’m still starting with jeans or maybe a non-denim pant, but I’ve traded the t-shirt for a button up with the sleeves pushed up - no surprises here - and added a blazer and/or denim shacket and/or trench, depending on the weather. I’m wearing my sweater over my shoulders or around my waist - also no surprise - and my wet hair twisted up in a tortoise shell hair claw, with loafers (and socks!) or ballet flats, also depending on the weather. The final look is nothing new, and quite frankly, predictable, but it looks and feels like the together version of me, even when I’m very much falling apart.
I can’t tell you what to wear as your Emotional Support Outfit, but I can point you in the right direction. Take your favorite outfit and dumb it down. Simplify the accessories, skip the iron if you can, minimize your makeup, avoid anything that’s too tight or stiff, and stick to a color story. When all else fails, dress up just a little. It’s hard to look or feel terrible when you’re slightly overdressed.
I’m happy to say that after a chaotic month, things have calmed a bit and life is the normal amount of hectic again. What do you wear when things hit the fan? Do you have an Emotional Support Outfit? Let me know in the comments. Thank you for reading, I’m so happy to be back to regularly scheduled programming.
Talk soon,
Fanny
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Fanny, this totally tracks. A sweater over my shoulders (with basically whatever) is my way of indicating: I'm down but NOT OUT.
100% have emotional support outfits (brilliant name!!). I live in Vermont so no one is phased. Actually I think everyone in Vermont has one.